My Silent Thank You
by nostalgic-angel
Summary: She turns away from me, obviously realizing the truth in my words. This is a love that could never be. . .


I'm Sasuke Uchiha.

My brother, Itachi, killed my whole clan and left me alive; the day that changed fate, and how I would live the rest of my life.

To this day, I still wonder why.

It's probally some sick sadistic answer, that I don't want to hear.

But I still crave it anyways.

I haven't cried since that day.

And not a day goes by that I don't want revenge.

I still have nightmares.

Horrible, vivid nightmares, that when I finally awake, I'm screaming and look like I'm having a break down.

I probally am.

She's the only one who can help.

She always does the exact same thing.

She'll climb beside me and wrap her arms around me.

Then she softly hums in my ear untill I fall asleep again.

Sometimes if the nightmare is really bad, she whispers things in my ear.

I can never remember what exactly; but it's always comforting.

When I wake the next day she's always gone; she never mentions anything about those nights.

But I know she remembers.

Sometimes I think about asking her, but I don't.

Asking questions isn't what an Uchiha does.

It would show I care, and that is the one thing I must not do.

But I know, she knows, I'm thankful she does it.

It's those moments, when our eyes meet and a silent understanding passes through us.

She read's it in my eyes; my silent thankyou.

I think that after all these years, she finally understands.

My grief, my need, my anger, my. . . silence.

- - -

It's been five years.

Things have changed; I've changed, she's changed.

Itachi's dead.

I killed him with my own bare hands.

His last words were 'I'm sorry.'

The last words he heard were ' Sorry doesn't take back all the pain you've caused me. Go rot in hell you son of a bitch.'

She doesn't trust me anymore.

I broke that bond, when I went to kill Itachi. . .

I threatned to kill her, because she got in my way.

And I meant it.

That's how blood thirsty I was; I still am.

Naruto made me apologize, and I did.

She accepted.

But I can still see the distrust, the fear hidden beneath her carefully constructed face.

I wrote her a letter the day after I killed Itachi.

I'm not sure if I'll ever give it to her.

It would explain a lot, but. . .

But I'm not sure if that's what we both want anymore.

If that's what she wants, anymore.

She's perfectly happy without me.

She has Ino, Naruto, Kakashi, even Shikamaru; they all went on a lot of missions together when I was gone.

I think I'm going to leave Konoha.

I don't know where I'll go; hopefully somewhere where no one knows me and my past.

I need to start over.

She needs to start over.

Either way, we can't do it together.

- - -

I leave tonight, and I'm never coming back.

A barely visible smirk touches my face as I realize this is like the last time I left Konoha.

The night sky seems to remember too, and darkens; reflecting my depression.

I try not to think of her because this is supposed to be a new start; but she still sneaks into my mind anyway, along with Naruto and Kakashi.

I hear footsteps behind me and I don't have to turn around to know who it is.

Pain saturates my whole body as I realize that this is too much like the last time I left Konoha.

Sakura.

My lips move to say her name but no sound comes out.

"You're leaving for good?" She whispers, knowing that I will hear.

I don't turn around, unsure if I would be strong enough to look in her eyes.

"Yes." My voice is strong and sure.

"I won't ask you to stay, because I know you won't. But I need to know why.You owe me that much Sasuke."

She tries to keep her voice strong, like mine, but it breaks at the end; betraying her, and revealing her pain.

I turn to face her, staring just above her right shoulder.

I can't handle looking in her eyes.

"Itachi and Orochimaru are dead. My life goal is completed. I'm. . . I'm not ready to revive my clan yet. I just need to start over. We _both_ need to start over."

I risk looking into her eyes; they're filled with tears as I knew they would be.

"And you can't start over here? With. . . With me?" Her voice is hesitant and careful.

"Sakura," My voice is warmer then I ment for it to be. "We both need to start over. I need someone who doesn't know about my past, and you need someone who has something to offer you."

She turns away from me, obviously realizing the truth in my words.

Something inside me aches and I feel warmth rising in my eyes, because I know my words are right.

This is a love that could never be.

"I still love you Sasuke. I'd still do anything for you, and I wish more then anything that there was someway we could stay friends. . ."

She trails off, and I feel like I need to add something.

I walk slowly towards her, usure if this is right.

My lips are so close to hers that I feel her hot breath on my face.

Without any warning, I kiss her.

It isn't anything like a first kiss is supposed to be.

It isn't warm, gentle and soft; it's raw, needy and full of want.

We both press our lips together melding to each other, knowing that this is the only time it will ever happen.

I release her reluctantly.

My lips tingle, and I wish that I could stay.

I fool myself into thinking that maybe everything could work out here with her.

But my deception doesn't last long; I'm only good at fooling others.

"Goodbye, Sakura." I whisper in her ear.

'And thankyou. . . '

And then I'm gone, never looking back.

- - -

**A/N: I was going to put the letter down that Sasuke wrote but I just couldn't get it to sound right. I tried about five times and none of them seemed right so I just decided against it.**

**I'm very happy with how this turned out, actually. At first I was just bored and wanted to write something random and then it just turned into this. I liked it so much that I decided to put it on here. **

**Sasuke is kind of OOC but since it's 1st person it's kind of hard to tell. I mean, who really knows how Sasuke feels on the inside?? lol Just saying. Hope you enjoyed!!**


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